Traveling over the holidays is always fun. If you have a sense of humor, that is.

Traveling throughout the year is usually blasé typical in that ‘we pros’ know how to track the trends of when airports are most busy, so hopefully we can schedule our flights in and out to avoid the rush hour crowds. At holidays, however, those trends are thrown out the window.

Holiday Moms like to travel with their kids mid-day, which is fine, except then the security lines are jammed with boogered up munchkins who don’t know how to follow TSA rules, let alone even knowing they exist. Those holiday flyers who decide early morning travel is the only way to go will get caught up in the typical business morning flows, further frustrating we pros on how to smoothly work the system. Oh, idiots! Do you watch the news? You cannot take liquids or gels on board over 3 oz… and yes, that means your perfume, your toothpaste and your snow globes! Where have you been?

Anyway, a nice relief this particular Thanksgiving weekend was the new Indianapolis International Airport (IIA). FINALLY an airport that GETS IT! Oh, the most traveled to and from airport in Motorsports is not only brand spanking new, but it is now the most logically flowing facility in the States. (Don’t even try to argue with me on the fact that it is the most traveled Motorsports airport… just trust me on that one. Not even Charlotte can compete.)

But just what elevated IIA to the top of my traveling list? Well, the growlers of course.

Seriously, bathrooms are a big deal for those of us who use them on the road so often.

There is nothing more frustrating for a frequent traveler (in particular a female frequent traveler) than public toilet cubicles that are scrunched together, each with doors that swing inward, thereby making it impossible to bring in your bags and your self without a certain degree of discomfort. I mean, you can’t leave your bags outside the bathroom doors, as people these days just can’t be trusted! And if a TSA agent saw them unaccompanied, they may confiscate them… I’ve seen it happen!

So in almost every other airport bathroom in existence, bringing in a roller bag and computer bag has been most difficult. You have to pack it all in, step behind your bags and cram yourself onto the mouth of the toilet and then attempt to swing the door shut while being careful not to drop anything loose in your grip. Without question you will get the door stuck on your bags so it won't close. Of course the line for the potties is long and every one of the other impatient potty people is staring at you and your level of disorganization. Your inadequacies are holding up the line! No pressure.

But it doesn’t end there. After you are scrunched into the lavatory stall, the automatic flusher loves to jack with you, too (and I just know there are cameras recording these practical jokes with airport employees laughing their asses off at us!) The freakin’ flushers never fail… they either wait for you to neatly lay down the protective paper and pull down your pants and then they flush away that paper making you stand half naked to put another piece down… OR they will flush WHEN you are sitting down, spraying water all over your bum, which is just plain disgusting. So much for sanitation and water conservation. Hey, I’ll still need to flush it and waste more water after I wipe and throw my TP in there or else someone will walk in after me and exclaim, “Gross!” Why can’t I just flush it on my own terms?!

But alas, Indy has conquered these embarrassing issues with their 21st century restrooms. Thank you IIA! Thank you for doors swinging outward, thank you for a little bit more room and thank you for controlling your automatic flushers which only let go after we have stepped way away from the bowl… and not a second sooner.

Seriously, do you know how happy that stuff made me this weekend?!

Maybe some racetracks can take note now, too. Even though many tracks I attend still haven’t figured out the technology of automatic flushing, which isn’t a bad thing, as they aren’t wasting a bunch of water. But seriously, it’s those little things that can go such a long way… and becoming friends again with the Porcelain God is just plain peaceful!

If my column here inspired you to speak out on this subject, then vote here on the Poop Report!

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