Editors Freakin’ note:  One big, bold, bangin’ badass left this world recently.  Simon Wiesenthal, the famed Nazi hunter who himself stared death smack dab in the cross hairs numerous times in and out of Jewish concentration camps.  The devotion to the crusade of hunting down these sinister two legged animals is unparalleled.  Go get’em Simon and as you said, when your lost friends and family members greet you upstairs, you’ll be proud to say YOU  fought the good fight…nuff said OG.

Hangin’ with the ol’ man this week in Dallas, the sum’bitch is a History Channel hangover at its best.  His latest?  The history of the Destruction Derby.  He wondered why we didn’t cover more of the DB.  “Pops,” I said, “we talked about Loudon and all its NASCAR manly mayhem between Robbie and Michael, Kasey and Kyle last week."

The more and more I think about the little bitch slap on the wrist for Gordon and Kahne, the funnier it Freakin’ is to me.  Big Boy Spencer’s dukes in the face of Kurt Busch and Kevin-DeLana Harvick’s truck race raucous got both of these sandbox bullies suspended in the past.  The Mixer and Little Beaver? A donation to the Red Trailer kettle and few free throws taken away.  Right!  

Here’s the fix for all all motorsports series' jankyard dawgs.  You put the suspected terrors on wheels in a Hookah Bar.  Yea, your damn right, a Hookah Bar!  Righteous smokin’ on the water baby.  Put on some lose Van-Heusen leg warmers, a Jimmy Buffet button down and some Thom McAn sandals, plop down in a beanbag and slobber up on a long-necked water pipe while airing out your differences. 

You’ve seen the Three Stooges do it.  Curly snorts a hit and off he goes…Woop Woop Woop!

In Middle Eastern countries, hookahs have a slew of names such as shisha, hubble bubble or narghiles.  Some say they were first used in India five centuries ago.  Me, hell, I say it was the Persians who were the first to filter the tobacco or other fruity concoctions through the water as a way to cool and filter the smoke.

You see, COOL and FILTER. 

Dig this, instead of tickling the pockets of fancy millionaire motorsports pilots, sit Waltrip and Gordon in a Hookah and smoke out baby.  There would be no helmet throwing, freelance fingering post Hookah, now would there.  The hippies would be on Talladega tour of Peace and Love.

Little Beaver and young Busch don’t even KNOW how to peace out with a pipe but it would be bananas to see the young ones Hookah.  Could you see Benny trippin’ on some play by play on THIS one?  Hell, I would just like to see BP high on a Hookah!

In fact, maybe the Freaks need to reach out to a Hookah or two.  Lugg needs a hit every other week of some fine herb.  Come to think about it, I'm hankerin' for a hit right now.

Follow me…

1. Fill the Nargila bottle with water.
2. Gently press the head back into place.   
3. Put the brass plate on top of the head.   
4. Put the ceramic top on the brass plate.   
5. Put some tobacco loosely into the ceramic top.
6. Take a piece of aluminum foil, and make 3-5 small holes in it.
7. Wrap the aluminum foil around the ceramic top.   
8. Put one piece of round coal on top of the aluminum foil.   
9. Light and wrap the aluminum foil around it as a plate.  
10. Smoke gently and slowly through the Nargila's pipe.

Oh yea, do not forget that smoking is bad for your health.