After a weekend of ratchet busting on the kitchen sink faucet and the 3 amigos wailing on in the background with meaningless banter about “The Lady In Black”, I came to the following conclusions: Jamie McMurray winning is bad for motorsports, the black stripe @ Darlington is overrated and faucet replacement sucks large ass.

I know Jamie Mac didn't win last weekend, Einstein. So why even bother asking if Jamie is winning bad for vroom vroom? Exactly. Why even ask.

And where the hell is Elliott Sadler nowadays? Is he still in the 19 or is that Hermie? Might as well be the Walrus Craig Stadler or Tex Cobb. Geez E, get a top 10 in my lifetime will ya? Seeing you in victory cirlce would turn it up to 11 but damn bro, what is the shizzle?

I am propped up and piled high now that John Force is back up in the 1000 foot stratosphere. Seeing the 14 time champ straight up on the leader board makes me think he’s put the switch on ‘kill’em all’ again. Metallica anyone?

Just when Lawrence Taylor, Brett Michaels and George Huguely were steeling El Tigre’s headlines, he pops a bulging dics, er, disc at Sawgrass. Right. The next golfing aid in Tiger’s bag will be a Hans Device. I know, that’s freakin’ funny.

Lindsey Lohan or Justin Bieber? WTF!? Can there be anymore ridiculousness?

Fact

Freak

If you get a chance, watch World Rally or FIM Speedway Grand Prix on Discovery's HD Theater. Repeats or not, the images are nasty gnarly big.

For the grand opening of the NASCAR Museum in Charlotte this month, we should be celebrating the men who put NASCAR on the map and not the debt the museum is saddled with. France, Johnson, Earnhardt should be the front page not the red ink.

Denny Hamlin after his win: “We had a top-two car all day.” O.kaaaaaay. Can we finally bury this bulls**t banter about top 2, 5, 10 or 20 car in racing? I would dig to hear these dudes say that about their wives or girlfriends. “Man, my wife is a top 20 today and I’d like to thank my sponsors Boudreaux’s Butt Paste, Tylenol, LA Looks hair gel and of course the crew back at the shop for making her… ”

That's what I freakin' think.

Email: kennysargent@speedfreaks.tv.